Desire: The Fuel to Keep Going

February 1, 2017

We are creatures of desire. We want things and when we get them, we want more. Superficial wants aside, we all have authentic can’t-imagine-my-life-without-it wishes that are uniquely ours. Desires that we didn’t necessarily choose but are just a part of us. No matter how out of reach they may seem, or whether or not we decide to go for them, they follow us everywhere until they become our reality. I’ve always thought of humans as teeny tiny people in an infinite universe that’s so much bigger than our little brains could ever comprehend. The way I see it is, we’re all trying to figure out something that is unfigureoutable. I don’t try to understand it, but I choose to trust that things that happen in our lives are more than just a series of coincidences and our desires that are given to us are for a reason.

My sister is a marine biologist and she was born with an appreciation for animals like I’ve never seen before. As far back as I can remember, my brother was fascinated with planes and now he flies them. Unlike them, I’ve never had clear career goals, but I’ve always dreamed of a home packed with little ones. My siblings and I grew up together, but the lives we craved couldn’t be more different from each other and that’s got to mean something.

I can’t help but wonder that maybe the fact that my biggest dream turned out to be my hardest challenge isn’t a coincidence either. When I found out that baby-making would not come easy for my hubby and I, I knew I would do whatever it took to make it happen. But after every setback and failed fertility attempt, a part of me was always tempted to give up. Even though the road to my baby boy was the hardest thing I ever went through, my burning desire kept me going. Now, with a crazy appreciation for my little miracle, a big part of me wants to say one kid is enough (and for many it is), but my dream of having a big family far outweighs the fear of going through the messiness of infertility again.

Everyone has a different story, but by following the TTC (trying to conceive) community, what I found is we all share the same desire to bring new life into this world. The lengths we go through to be parents is nothing short of incredible. It’s also something to be proud of because not everyone has the courage to do whatever it takes to get what they want.

I believe that if you really want something so badly that it comes from a place beyond thoughts and experiences, and you make it your soul mission to achieve it, with a do-whatever-it-takes attitude…chances are that somehow, someday, you’re going to achieve it. I would even go as far as saying that success is not only likely, but maybe even inevitable. Because it’s not luck… it’s just you and your desires, and doing whatever it takes to make it happen.

If you want something with every inch of your being and not a day goes by without thinking about it, trust the desire and decide to go for it no matter what. Accept the challenges, see setbacks as steps forward, learn from the falls and keep moving forward until you get there. By all means, cry along the way, take breaks when you need to, and scream at the top of your lungs when it hurts so bad you can’t even handle it… but never give up. Believe that the little seeds of desire were planted in you for a reason, and the obstacles are a necessary part of the ride.

When we put our lives into perspective, we’re all just specks of dust that are here for a moment. So what would the point of life be if we didn’t go for what we wanted most? I like to think that our deepest desires are just road maps of the lives we were born to live, and everything we ever dreamed of is always accessible as long as we choose to ride the wave.

Peace. Love. And Baby Dust.

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